“Don’t be afraid,” I murmured. “We belong together.”
I was abruptly overwhelmed by the truth of my own words.
This moment was so perfect, so right, there was no way to doubt it.
His arms wrapped around me, holding me against him, summer and winter.
It felt like every nerve ending in my body was a live wire.
“Forever,” he agreed, and then pulled us gently into the deeper water.
(Breaking Dawn, pg. 85)
I saw the vision in Alice’s head two weeks before the wedding. I had been as assiduous about tuning her out as she had been about keeping me out; thanks to her, I now knew the entire libretto of H.M.S. Pinafore, both forwards and backwards – in Urdu. Still, the vision had come to her unexpectedly while we were out hunting and I had seen Bella, gloriously naked from the waist up, standing in a dark pool of water with her arms twined around my neck.
I should have known better to think about our still undecided honeymoon plans when in hearing range of Alice, but they had been a thorn in my side for weeks. I only had three requirements: absolute privacy, sultry temperature and multiple opportunities for distraction should things not go as Bella hoped. Still, I had been at a loss until I remembered the gift Carlisle had given Esme when they married for the fourth time. As soon as the thought entered my head, Alice froze; almost knocked down by the force of her vision. I only got the brief snippet of Bella and I in the water, embracing while we spoke those few words, but it was enough for me to realize that I had picked the perfect spot.
It took all my strength to stop myself from asking her if I had ultimately made the right choice, if she could see that Bella would survive, that I would be strong enough not to be carried away and destroy all that I held dear. And if it had been one of my brothers who had the talent to see the future I might have. But not Alice. I just couldn’t ask her to look into my sex life. I shuddered at the mere thought. So I followed Bella’s lead: I put my faith in our love. And fervently hoped that Alice would say something if she saw disaster ahead.
Bella continued to push my limits in the days before the wedding. “Practice,” she called it. Torture would have been a more apt word. Still, I could deny her nothing, especially when she sang so sweetly to my darker demons. I wanted to touch her everywhere; her mouth, her neck, her breasts and she taunted me, asking me to in that voice that she knew broke down my every barrier, my very sense of right and wrong.
Every time she survived, I counted it as a victory. Every time I conceded, she pushed me further. With only hours left before the wedding she had me panting like a lustful boy; which, I supposed, technically I was. I was just starting to feel the familiar pangs of guilt for wanting so many wrong things from Bella when Emmett’s thoughts came hurtling at me.
Come on Edward, we’re going to take you out and teach you something you didn’t learn in Yale! Various images of black-latex clad women engaged in kinky, bondage style lesbian acts flooded his brain.
“Oh, for the love of all that’s holy!” As if I needed that sort of imagery in my head when I was trying not to lust after my soon-to-be wife. Still, they were here to take me hunting, effectively ensuring that I would neither break my vow to deflower Bella before our wedding, nor be weak from hunger when our wedding night arrived.
Thankful for my brothers despite their teasing, I hopped from Bella’s window before they could come for me; neatly escaping both our minor argument and my ever growing lust in one bound. I whispered to Jasper that Bella was tense as I jumped down and he poked his head in, joking briefly with my love and then flooding her with waves of calm.
I didn’t want anything to take me away from Bella between when we were joined as man and wife and when we made love for the first time, so I hunted myself to the point of gluttonous satiation. I could actually feel the blood sloshing around inside me when we returned early that morning. My brothers had been understanding, even if they hadn’t cut me any slack. There had been a lot of jokes about happy virgins on their wedding nights and still more about the various uses of rubber, but still, they mentally acknowledged that since their firsts had come as humans, they hadn’t had to overanalyze it so much and they tried to downplay their concerns.
Emmett summed it up succinctly as usual, Either you’ll kill her or you won’t, Edward. But at least you’re finally going to get laid. If only I could adopt that attitude myself.
Our wedding passed far too quickly for my liking. Bella was gorgeous – a vision. I made sure that I took time during the reception to thank Alice, not only for making my fondest dreams come true, but for allowing me the moment of awe when Bella walked down the aisle, on Charlie’s arm, glowing. Alice punched my arm with more strength than a human of her size would be able to muster, but still feather-light to me and told me I was welcome all the same. Then she was off to bully Bella into her traveling clothes, ecstatic at the thought of not having to censor herself any longer.
The trip to Rio de Janeiro was longer for me than it was for Bella, who slept most of the way from Houston. I was so happy that we needed to sail from Rio to the island; it gave me something to do, even if it couldn’t fully distract me from what awaited us. Bella complained about the lengthy amount of time we were travelling, sounding like an angry kitten, but I knew she was as excited as I to get to our destination. Soon enough it appeared out in the South Atlantic: Isle Esme.
It was everything I needed for the few weeks I planned for us to be alone. If all went well, no one would be on the island but us, and I could worship my bride from dawn until dusk. And if things went poorly? Well, at least there was lots of snorkeling. Not wanting to dwell on our precarious future, I grabbed my bride and tried not to speed to the house that had been well lit in anticipation of our arrival. As I took those ceremonious steps over the threshold, I was suddenly assaulted with worry. What if I did something wrong? What if I repulsed her with my passion? What if my ultimate fear came true and I actually hurt her? Her nervous heart beat was a relentless warning. Watch out. Watch out.
Like an idiot, I brought her directly to the bedroom. I had thought to let her lie down and relax after our long voyage, but when her eyes locked onto the enormous, white bed I realized my error. She must have thought I was a letch. Not sure how to undo my error, I fled to retrieve our luggage. When I returned she was still where I left her, staring intently at the bed, slightly sweating in the heat of the night. Perhaps we could both do with a distraction; something to relax us and let us ease into tonight. It was then that Alice’s vision returned to me. Perfect.
“I was wondering if…first…” Before I ravage you in every depraved way I’ve ever dreamed…stop it! “maybe you’d like to take a midnight swim with me?” In the warmth of the water, Alice’s vision of us, relaxed and finally as physically entwined as our hearts had always been, could become reality. I told her I’d wait out in the water for her, letting her have a human minute. I couldn’t resist one kiss, though. I brushed my lips along the sweetly scented column of her throat down to the tip of her shoulder and was rewarded with the familiar cadence of her heart beating with enough passion for the two of us.
I headed out into the night, leaving my clothes on a one of the few trees that dotted the beach and slipped into the water, trying desperately to absorb as much of its heat as possible before my wife joined me. My wife. I would never tire of that moniker for her. I drifted under the water for a bit, mentally preparing myself for what was to come. I knew I wanted this, so very much. I prayed that I would be able to make love to my wife without killing her like some sort of monster.
I heard her enter the water and I swept those darker thoughts aside. Now was not a time for worry. Now was a time to celebrate, to enjoy each other. I turned and she was standing there, gilded by the moonlight and looking at me with so much love it would have broke my heart, had any part of me still been able to break. Yet, when I saw how fragile she looked, my doubts came pouring back.
“I promised we would try,” I began. I so desperately needed to know that she would tell me if I did something, anything, that hurt her. As usual, she was the one assuaging my fears, our roles constantly reversed. Then she said the words from Alice’s vision, “We belong together.”
My response was automatic. “Forever.”
I pulled her deeper into the water, reveling in the feel of her soft skin against my own; in the way the water made her hair swirl about us as if she were some ebon-haired mermaid. Our words had acted like a magic spell, making all my fears and worries vanish into the midnight dark waves. For the first time it was just us, just a husband and his bride; no life and death drama, no supernatural dangers, just a man and a woman who were very much in love.
I dipped my head down, wanting to show her how much I loved her. I showed it with my lips as I captured hers, softly but urgently molding them with my own. I showed it with my hands, as I pulled her body closer, soaking up the warmth radiating from her skin and letting my fingers draw lazy swirls down her spine, splaying around the perfect roundness of her bottom. I loved how, in this warm paradise, my touch made her shiver with delight instead of cold. How I could feel her flesh naked against my own and not worry about her discomfort. How I could stop worrying and just feel.
I trailed my lips down her neck, licking her collarbone, and was rewarded by her gasp of pleasure. For all of our practice the weeks before, she still responded as if every touch I gave her was alive with never-before-felt pleasure. I ran my nose back up, inhaling the scent that fueled my fire, and not just the one in my throat. I burned for this woman, in every way a man could burn, body and soul.
She moved to kiss my mouth, but I pulled back and she opened her eyes with a gasp. The noise, which had originated with her annoyance at the loss of my presence deepened into a lustful moan as she saw the wickedness in my eyes. Never looking away, I watched her eyes widen, then roll back and close as I wrapped my lips around her nipple and sucked on it. I let my tongue run over it, feeling it pebble in my mouth, then tugging it gently with my lips. Soon she was sighing out my name, wrapping her legs ever more tightly around my waist.
I didn’t realize just how much her arousal would fuel my own. Her moans were dragging matching ones from me as I worshipped her perfect breasts, and my need to be inside of her was growing exponentially. As I continued to torture her with my mouth, I slowly reached down and slid a single finger inside of her. I tried to be gentle, but apparently my pace was too slow and she pushed herself onto my hand. The grunt she made as she buried my finger to the hilt in her warmth was by far the sexiest thing I had ever heard. She opened her eyes to stare directly into mine.
“Please,” she moaned as her hips rocked forward on my hand.
So I gave my love what she wanted. I slid my finger out and then in again, stretching her flesh as she flushed and moaned and thrashed her head in the water around us. Soon one finger wasn’t enough and I slid first a second and then a third into her eager flesh, preparing her for the moment when I would finally claim her body as my own.
Bella was begging for me at this point, calling my name over and over again. “Please, Edward,” she pleaded finally, “I don’t want your fingers anymore. I want you.” I curled my fingers in her one last time before I pulled them out and grasped her hips firmly in the water. I lowered her body down, until my cock was just barely at her entrance, then stopped to watch her face; wanting to be sure I’d be able to see the barest hint of discomfort. Her eyes fluttered open and, noting my hesitation, she placed her hand on my cheek again.
“I love you, Edward.” With those four words she lowered her hips down and I let her guide herself down my shaft unable to formulate a coherent response as I experienced the sheer pleasure of being enveloped in her heat. I groaned, letting my head fall into the crook of her shoulder, using my hands to pull her hips closer and closer to my own.
I stopped when I felt the barrier. She had only slid halfway or so down my length when I stopped. I slid her back up, wanting to build up as much pleasure for her before I gave her this one unavoidable hurt. As she continued to rise and fall on me, we both were becoming maddeningly aroused and I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer; she was just so wet and hot and tight.
I was desperate to bury myself inside of her and soon let me know she felt the same way. She looked at me again and mouthed the word, “More,” exhaling shakily. Unable to prevent the pain I knew she would feel, I could at least make sure it would be swift and I pushed into her in one quick stroke. When I was fully encased in her body I froze, giving us both a moment to get used to the new sensations. I was happy that the scent of her blood was quickly diluted by the water, something I had definitely been worried about.
“Are you alright?” I whispered watching her face relax from its rictus of pain. Her expression finally smoothed out fully and her grimace was replaced with a small smile. “Yes,” she murmured back before chuckling a little self-consciously. “And now we won’t have to worry about that again, right?”
Always she thought of my pain first, wanting to make it good for me and dismissing her own discomfort as unimportant. I shook my head, renewed in my determination to show her some fraction of the pleasure she was already giving me. Gradually I pulled out of her, almost completely, before pushing ever slowly back in. I set a gentle pace but soon, unsurprisingly, it wasn’t enough for Bella. She pulled at me, her hands sweeping down the muscles of my back to grasp my waist, pulling me closer with her feather light touch.
I sped up a little, letting go just a bit, enjoying the pleasure of wrapping myself into her soft, wet heat. We were soon panting, both racing towards something undefined but very much wanted. I could tell she was close. She was moaning and her breathing was labored as if she had been running hard. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold back my own release when I felt her body start to convulse around mine. Her eyes squeezed tight just as her mouth puckered into a perfect, pink, “Oh,” and then her head fell back as she rode the waves of pleasure out.
Her climax pulled my own from me and I felt as if I was pouring myself into her in endless, clenching spasms. I had never felt anything so good. Not even the feel of human blood coursing down my throat could compare to this bliss. I felt a thud on my shoulder and realized that Bella had collapsed onto me again, spent with pleasure.
“That was…that was…” she stammered incoherently. I smiled with the satisfaction of having rendered my wife nearly speechless.
“Amazing,” I agreed, letting my cool breath wash over her. She inhaled deeply before opening her heavily hooded eyes.
“I want more,” she murmured huskily back. I pulled out of her to shift her in my arms and received a frown for my efforts. I smirked back at her, before sprinting out of the water and back into the house. More she wanted and more she would have. Still glowing with pleasure, we streaked up the stairs and once again were standing in front of the bed that had confounded us both earlier.
I dropped her unceremoniously on to the white, fluffy expanse, feeling suddenly light-hearted. I had just made love to my wife and I hadn’t killed her. What wasn’t there to feel good about? She laughingly complained as she landed in the pile of comforters and pillows, grousing that she was getting the bed all wet.
“Bella, my love, this bed is about to get a whole lot wetter,” I purred suggestively, climbing into the bed with her. Her body flooded with the scent of her arousal, dazzling me every bit as much as she claimed my breath did to her. A low growl escaped my throat as I stalked her through the mounds of white, feather-stuffed cotton and I heard her heartbeat accelerate. When I finally hovered over her, I took my time, letting her anticipation wind her up as far as possible before I leaned down to plant a soft, chaste kiss on the tip of her nose.
She scowled at me, having expected something far more intimate. “I was thinking about something a little lower,” she complained.
“As you wish,” I murmured, starting at her temple and trailing kisses down her cheek before stopping at her lips. Just when I could tell she was no longer thinking about anything but the kisses we were exchanging, I started to wind my way lower, past her chin, through the valley between her breasts, until I reached her navel and her hands flew into my hair.
“Edward?” she squeaked as I smiled into her pale stomach.
“You did say lower, my love,” I explained as I continued to my original destination. Tonight I was going to taste my wife in every way possible and that meant more than her lips and her skin. I wanted to taste her very essence. Shyly, she clamped her legs together, looking down at me with worry.
“Edward, what if…” she hesitated her embarrassment over the words temporarily outweighing her embarrassment over the act. What on earth could she be afraid of? That I wouldn’t like it? That I would find any part of her undesirable? Sometimes she was so silly.
“Bella, love, I just want to make you feel good,” I cajoled. “Trust me.” Her head collapsed back into the pillows and her knees yielded to my touch. I felt a moment’s nervousness, hoping to all that was holy that I was going to do this right. From all I had inadvertently seen, especially from Jasper’s intensely erotic thoughts about Alice, this was something women enjoyed. Tentatively I let my tongue trace the line between her lips, lingering ever so briefly at the nub of flesh at the top, and I was rewarded with a low groan from Bella’s throat. That sounds promising.
I repeated the action again, quickly learning what she liked and what drove her wild with lust. The first time I ran my flattened tongue over her clit, she yelped with pleasure, bucking her hips up into my face. I repeated it over and over until she was screaming my name. I wanted to feel more of her, so I slid a finger inside her and soon my previously blushing bride was grinding herself down onto my tongue and my hand wantonly. God, how I love this woman.
With one final thrust of my fingers she was exploding, her body clenching around me again and again. I pulled back, wiping my wet face off on the covers before climbing up to kiss her tenderly. But tenderness was not what Bella wanted. She grabbed my head, kissing me fiercely and using her body to try and turn me over onto my back. Curious to see what she would do, I complied, letting my feisty kitten take control.
She continued to kiss me, rolling her body against mine seductively. I thought this was all she had planned at first and I was more than happy with it but soon she pulled back, tossed a pillow at me to get it out of her way and then slid down between my legs.
I started to object but she pulled back with a frown. “Turnabout is fair play, Edward,” she complained. It didn’t seem right, but every time I reached down for her she slapped at my hands. Finally, she leaned back and speared me with the expression that always made me cave. Then she uttered the one word that doomed me: “Please?” Would I ever be able to say no to her?
She gloated silently as soon as she realized she had won and then continued to watch me as she lowered her mouth with agonizing slowness to my cock. She hovered over me for a moment, drawing out the erotic tension, and I could feel it twitch in her hand. Then her perfect, pink tongue flicked out to lick the tip of my head ever so softly.
“Holy shit!” I called out before covering my face with the pillow she had thrown at me. There was no way I was going to get through this if I watched her. I heard her self-satisfied chuckle only an instant before I was enveloped by the heat of her mouth. It was ecstasy. The way she moved her lips over my flesh, the at first tentative and then more sure sucking, the swirl of her tongue as she reached out for the part of me that wouldn’t fit in her mouth, all of it was beyond anything I had ever dreamed of feeling before. It wasn’t long before the pillow in my hands became a cloud of feathers above us and I snatched Bella up and placed her unceremoniously on my cock. She slid down slick and easy, and we both sighed in delight.
I tilted my hips up at her, unsure if she would still want to be the one in charge but she licked her lips wickedly as she leaned back to balance herself on my thighs, pressing me deeper inside her. I groaned as she rode me relentlessly, whipping us both up in a frenzy of passion.
“Bella, please,” I begged. I was perilously close, much closer to climax than her, judging by her focused moans and I didn’t want to come without her. I looked up as she bit her lip and her hand came tentatively between us. I wasn’t sure what she was doing until I felt her fingers slip between our bodies and find that small, throbbing piece of flesh. She moaned deeply and I had to grab another pillow, easily choosing to destroy it rather than lose myself too early. I felt her work her clit in time with her thrusts, which were becoming erratic as she got close. I grabbed her hips and ground up into her driving us both over the edge into a bliss so pleasurable it bordered on pain.
When I resurfaced from that golden haze, I found Bella slumped against my chest, exhausted and near sleep. Lifting her, I gathered her up to my side. She snuggled up to me before promptly falling asleep. As I listened to her soft snores for the first time as my wife, I let my mind wander over the joy we had just shared, hopeful that we might be able to have a full marriage even while Bella remained human. If that was possible, I might be able to keep my love’s heart beating for at least a little longer.
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