Showing posts with label Rated R. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rated R. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Artsie makes up for German book recc - hot!


Epic Calamity Challenge Pt.2 Recap

My dear commenters,

first: I really have no words - no Recap on sunday... I know! But as you've probably read in her Monday Apology, Betti just really isn't able to cope with even the tiniest bit of art or music without me (no idea what she needed Fanny for), so I was occupied and couldn't reply earlier.

Second: In retrospective I see that I shouldn't have recommended a German book, especially not a German book with lemons. It turned out to be a kind of pre-cockblock, since the majority of US readers was frustrated even before, uhm... the act.  

I said to myself: "Artsie," I said, "you should apologize and think of something nice to make up for your flaw!" - And as usual, I couldn't help but agree with myself. 
But first things first...
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Honolulu Girl
Wow. Again an amazing post Artsie!!
I'm actually really bummed that the story about Alex and Frank is only in German. It really sounds good. I will definitely pick up The Shore of Women and I have never read a Stephen King book but my husband has read several and loves his work. So I plan to pick that up as well. Thank you!!
If there's King on your book shelf, I recommend you to make use of it. Not all of his books are good, but his writing is always excellent craftmanship. 

If his books were movies (which almost all of them have already or will become - just this speaks volumes) one would say: Excellent director, just some of the screenplays are a little weak... 
As for "Lisey's Story": It's different, but I'm sure, if your husband didn't read it already, he will like it, because there's still enough of the "old" Stephen King left, of course.
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Mrs.Vanquish 
I read a lot, I mean really A LOT but those three I never had in my hands! So I am very hooked and I promise you, I will read them all.
The Shore of Women: The pic is awesome and the summary sound interesting.
A gay lovestory? never read one, but I am willing to try.
I did't know SK could actually write a love story, ok this is really impressing! And Betti cried? What does that means for me ? That I have to lock myself while reading it, and that I eventually need tons of Kleenex? ..very likely... 
Thanks so much for these recs, I see you really took it serious, that is awesome.
Well, and thanks for not choosing Kafka, I hate him - or better I never got him. Although I had German "leistungskurs" Kafka was the worst mark I ever got in German, so we don't have a good relationship.
*bows* and I hug Fanny since you probably don't want to have a hug
Oh, I'm really glad you don't know any of my picks. Though this thought was one of my criteria, of course. And the reason why I went a little back in time. 

I picked "Shore of Women" because, Betti read it 8 times. I mean, 8 times? That just has to mean something, hu? 

The gay lovestory is actually written by a woman, and I guess that is the reason why it is so appealing to women. 

And the King - yes I have to advice you to fill up you Kleenex storage for this. It goes really deep, an although it is not a happy story - I mean, Lisey is a widow from the beginning - it is overall comforting and makes you believe in the power of love.

It was my pleasure to pick them all out for you. And before you hug Fanny on my behalf, I guess I take the hug. *hugs* Yes, thank you. Ok. *backs off* That's enough.
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rpfangirldc
Interesting... Although recommending a German book that's only in German is sort of mean to those of us who can't read a lick of German. LOL
Yes, in retrospective, I see that was not nice. I am sorry. 
But there are still two you CAN read. So stop whining.
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Fire Crotch
Okay, so I definitely will be reading #1...not sure about #3 and #2 would be quite the challenge...maybe I should try it. If you haven't read some John Irving...I recommend pretty much anything by him. Son of the Circus is kind of out there, but I really liked his most recent book. He's kind of weird but a great storyteller.
Of course, I know John Irving and I like his books. Sometimes I think he's wanting a little too much and the ways life takes in his stories are a bit over the top. But still they are the ways life takes and I love how he tells the most dramatical events kinda matter-of-factly, but with an undertone that aims at peoples hearts and hits - nonetheless.
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SBGDGT
I am going to look into Shore of Women some more and definitely put Stephen King's book on my Books to Read list for sure! I have to catch up on my John Saul first cause I abandoned him for Twilight. Yes, Artsy, Twilight... BUT I am taking your recommendations to heart! Thank you! :)
I think Mr. Saul will not be amused if he reads this. But I have no problem with you Twilight addicts as long as you don't end up like Mrs Robward (see below). 
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itsjustme
The first recc has my interest peaked. I shall look for it. The 2nd sounds good too, but alas, I'm in the states. However, I am a diehard King fan. His books are never really about the "boogie man" his works are important b/c they are about the demons inside of us. I read Lisey's Story twice. *sigh* Yes, this is a love story. However, I also believe it is a story of the different levels of madness. Scott is crazy, his dad and brother were crazy. Lisey is crazy, her sister, the stalker. The point, I think, is that we are all just a little bit fucked up. The unconditional love of another may not save our sanity, but maybe our souls. Ok, I'll stop now. Awesome post!
What a wonderful comment, itsjustme! 
You are right, everything you say about "Lisey's Story" is right on the nail. 
I was just afraid, if I mention too much of the angst part, I might scare Mrs.V away. 
And I think she should read it.
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Smuttier Than You
Oh Artsie! Thanks fo the recommendations, I needed some new material as I'm just about convinced fanfic is turning me into a borderline "innapropriate" smuthound, if there is such a thing. Although the hubs did enjoy the, er, wake-up call I gave him when I got in bed last night/early this morning *smirk*
Uhm... I'm not sure I really needed that much ...err, information about the personal effects of your usual reading matters. But, uhmmm anyway, I'm glad if I could ...uh, help.
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uhyesplease
Hey Artsie!
So, I'm adding these to my book que. I'm also a big Stephen King lover....have you read the Gunslinger series? Wow - finishing those made me feel like I finished a marathon. Gutwrenching..... But I don't really like the scary stuff either.... I mean, it's hard enough to go to bed w/o thinking there are dead things lurking below your bed, or consuming your pet, whatever... ;)
I'm sad that 2nd book isn't in English. Guess I'll just have to find me some good slash some other way!
And the first book looks super interesting - I love sci fi - and sexy scifi is a bonus!!!
Thanks for the recs!!!!!
Yes, I know what you mean. It was always like that when Betti had a Stephen King as her night reading: While I was enjoying the wonderful strong human beings fighting off the nightmares and creatures, Fanny was under the bedsheet, shaking and whining. 
I had hard times keeping Betti in balance... 
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Susie From ApplesnFeathers
Artsy this was an interesting choice in books. I was thinking it would be something a little more aristocratic but I see that you do at least share Betti's amazing reading tastes(excluding Twilight Saga of course) I've read "Lisey's Story" and I was as moved as Betti was and it does suck that we American's can't get our hands on "Schneewittchens Unschuld" because it sounds absolutely beautiful. I actually enjoy alot of gay/lesbian independent films although i'm straight they intrigue me with their struggles. After I get done commenting today I will be going over to some online bookstores to get my hands on The Shore of Women. Why have I not heard of this before! It sounds amazing! Thank you for the great recommendations. I really do love books and as big of a fan of Twilight that I am I can't read just those four books for the rest of eternity lol. I'm looking forward to the tattoos...I could use a new idea for a new ankle tat!!
I agree wholeheartedly: You can't spend the rest of your life with just four books. Especially not with just THESE four books, good God! 
If I have helped just the tiniest bit to prevent this, I will say in my last hour: My life hasn't been in vain - Susie bought herself a fifth book!
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One Pushy Fox
Artsie, I hope you won't be offended when I say, "You rock my socks!" I'm so looking forward to reading books #1 and #3 (I know very little German, although, crazy side note, my favorite German word is Schlüssel, I giggle everytime I hear it). Thanks for broadening my horizon beyond Twilight. :)
No offense taken, Foxy. On the contrary! Setting your uhm... foot clothing in motion is probably a good thing. I suppose.
I'm wondering whether you are able to pronounce the word Schlüssel correctly? Most Americans have trouble with the German vowel "ü". It's almost like the "y" - not like in "hymen", but like in "Hysterics", so you would speak "shlyssle". 
Another nice word which rhymes is "Rüssel" (the elephant's trunk), and you guess it by now... speak: "ryssle". Hope this was a little "Schlüsselerlebnis" for you. (key moment, speak: shlyssle-airlaibnis) 
Btw.: YOUR  horizon is not among those I'm worrying about!
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Mrs. Robward
So Ms. Fanny you mean to tell me that you are saying we should read actual books? Books that have real paper pages that you have to turn? What a travesty! 
Well not really, but truth of the matter is I have not had an actual book in my hands, (besides my Bible), since reading the Saga. 
I absolutely love to read. After having my 3 kiddos I quit reading until Twilight came along & now that I abide in the world of fanfic, I wonder why I ever stopped.
STEPHEN KING! One of my all time fav authors! 
Thanks for all the reccs. Will I ever get to reading them? Maybe someday, but I promise you this, when I get the urge to read a real book, I know where to go! 
It's Artsie. You hear me? Artsie! And just Artsie, please. No Ms.!
 
And yes, I was talking about real books. Paper. Pages. Turn.
You might have to moisten your finger to do so. A nice change for once, wet finger instead of wet... well, you know.

There you see what Twilight does to unsuspecting readers. It keeps people from reading other books. A shame! 
*shakes head* I don't know what to say... I really don't.
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So what is my gift this time? 
Not what I wanted to do for you.
I had planned on translating one or two hot lemons from the German book into English, just for the pleasure of it. Unfortunately, Betti lent it out to a person who isn't available right now, so: no lemons from "Schneewittchens Unschuld".

What to do, what to do...?
Finally I thought, since you all liked the illustration of sexy Arvil from "Shore of Women" so fine (and since there was no Rob in my last challenge!), I could show you a few more of Fanny's illustrated fantasies of Rob... err, Arvil...

Since they are not all appropriate for all ages, I had to hide them under this

Enjoy!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Twi-Fic I love: Clipped Wings & Inked Armor by Hunterhunting

Before I give you my first twific recommendation, I have to explain something.
I am a split personality, sort of. Whenever I listen to music, read a novel, watch a movie there are the two halfs of my mind struggling against each other: my analytical Inner Artist, and my average Inner Fangirl - namely: Artsie and Fanny. (learn more about them here)
While my Inner Artist is always busy, which is irritating sometimes, my Inner Fangirl had a rough ride most of my life, because Artsie has always been pretty dominant. Just lately, Fanny made up some ground on her. I decided to unleash them on the twific and leave the "reviews" up to them. So go ahead reading at your own risk.
In order to call them out, I have to use the red type font... wait a sec.

So there. Artsie? Fanny? 
Please say hi to our readers and introduce yourselves.


Artsie: Hello. Glad to meet you. And nice to see you too, Betti.

Fanny: Hi everybody!! (waves with both hands)

Artsie: Well, yes, I'm very much into the arts and culture. I'm helping Betti with her music and such. And I didn't like Twilight, just saying.

Fanny: Well, I LOVE Twilight and I'm helpful too... I think. Artsie just can't get over the fact that I totally overruled her, when Betti read Twilight. That's what she didn't like. Ha!

Artsie: It is just Not. A. Good. Book.


You both promised to behave, remember?


Artsie: I'm a pro. I can do that.

FannyNo problem. If Artsie stops bitching at Twilight.

Ok. Can you just hold on to yourselves a few moments longer? Thanks.


Don't worry, folks, I picked a twific that both Artsie and Fanny liked for a start. Here is the basic information:

  • Title: Clipped Wings and Inked Armor
  • Author: HunterHunting
  • Genre: angst/romance
  • Centered around: Edward & Bella (no surprise, huh?)
  • Rated M: content suitable for adults and mature teens age 16+
  • Status: not finished yet, but updated in short intervals. 17 chapters written

Artsy? Fanny? Your turn...



FannyCan I start, please? Or would you...? I want to start!

Artsie: (mutters under her breath) Surprise, surprise...

Fanny: Yeah, ok!  So...  mpf.

Artsie: What's the problem?

Fanny: The story is so awesome - I don't know where to begin!

Why don't you just tell us the first thing that comes to your mind?


FannyOk - I want to sleep with Tattward!!!

Artsie: (rolls eyes) That was, uhm... brilliant, Fanny. Really...

FannyBut it's true, ok? Tattward is hot!


Maybe we should enlighten our readers... 

Tattward = Edward in this story, right?


FannyYes, Edward. And he really kicks ass here, because he has all these piercings and tattoos, and every tattoo has a certain meaning - about his past and shit, you know - and not to forget his real huge...

ArtsieUh-oh!

Fanny...anaco... What, Artsie? It isn't a spoiler  if I say that, is it. Betti?


I'm not sure, Fanny. Let's just better be safe than sorry. 

So... you like tattoos, hu?


FannyNo, actually I didn't - before I read Clipped Wings & Inked Armor, that is.

ArtsieBetti has a tattoo too. Do you like hers?

FannyWell, I don't mean to be rude, but... (shrugs)


Ok girls, focus! Hot Tattward aside - both of you wanted me 

to recommend this twific on my blog, so: Why is it good? Artsie?


ArtsieFirst of...

FannyWhy is it good? WHY IS IT GOOD? Are you kidding me?! (snorts)

Artsie...all, there is a extremely good rhythm and tempo in the writing, a natural flow as if written without any effort at all. Every chapter has a satisfying dramatic composition in itself which draws you in and carries you along, feeling to witness it all like in realtime.

Fanny (fake-yawns)Bla bla bla... are you through now? Rhythm and tempo - fuck, who cares? You had better mention all the Cullens are in it, the Cullens! All of them! Well, sort of.

So, are we already at the point of judging the 

Twi-Fidelity of Clipped Wings & Inked Armor?

TWI-FIDELITY 

How much Twilight is left?

ArtsieRight. That's another thing about Clipped Wings & Inked Armor that has turned out very well. It's an all-human story. But HunterHunting nonetheless created an original plot which actually mirrors the vampires-among-us universe of the Twilight Saga in a clever way. The Cullen characters are all there, their personalities perfectly translated, though relationships were shifted - often quite surprisingly.  The "youngsters" are running their own... oh, Betti - can I say that?


I think it's no spoiler. More a teaser. Just go ahead.


ArtsieOk. So they are running a tattoo and piercing studio together, which is a world of its own. They're are all kind of outsiders, due to their looks alone. 

FannyYeah, kick ass looks! Yummy...

ArtsieAnd they have things to deal with from their past, dark secrets too. They kinda keep to themselves. They might look dangerous and  a little scary in the eyes of "normal" people, but at the same time they are beautiful and alluring and kindhearted all together. This is ought to sound quite familiar to the average Twilight fan. (smirks) And there is Bella of course - pretty, shy, vulnerable, wounded Bella...

FannyThat is sooo awesome. When you read it, it's like meeting old friends. I love it!

ArtsieBut that's pretty much it. Generously, I'd say. I think, it's a big win to be introduced into this new convincing universe invented by HunterHunting. Still, the characters are all there, if not actually appearing, at least mentioned as conclusive part of the story.

Fanny: Yeah. No big celebration for Team Jacob here, though. Sorry, puppies... (giggles)

ArtsieI loved the way how some Twilight keywords were integrated. With a wink, so to say.

FannyActually THE Twilight keywords. But we won't give it away, right Artsie? It is too much fun to find that out by yourself.


TWI-FIDELITY SCORING 

2 out of 5 Wettest Places in the Continental US



Fanny: So can we come to the anaconda-part now?

ArtsieOh gawd... Fanny! (rolls eyes)

I think, Fanny wants to talk about the lemon qualities

of the story now. So let's go: 

TWI-LECHERY 

How hot is the plot?

As I said before, I missed some good sex in Twilight. Badly.

Fanny: (snorts) Tell me about it!

ArtsieI assume you didn't miss anything in Clipped Wings & Inked Armor*raises brows*

FannyOMG... you have NO idea! It's just... ROAR! I-love-it-because-itleavesnothingtobesiredand...

ArtsieBreathe, Fanny!

Fanny...there are all kinds of loverliest porn...

ArtsieI wouldn't call it porn, really. The sex scenes are just, uhm... (clears throat)  descriptive.

Fanny: Oh yeah? C'mon, Mrs. Cool-and-Cultural, I can't wait to hear you review THAT. I bet you were all wet in your cultural centre, hu? (laughs)

Artsie: I'm not going to vouchsafe a reply to this. But I admit, the erotic passages did affect me in the way they're supposed to. There's no narrator in this story, so you experience everything from either Bella's or Edward's point of view. And additionally to the strong lustfulness, there is...

Fanny: Fess up, Baby! You were drooling like a dog in heat, I know it!

Artsie: ...all warmth and wonder, along with fragility and confusion in their minds and hearts. And this is why it is no porn. It is all about love in the first place, and despite of explicite language and unbridled lust, the reader is aware of this every second - even though the couple in question is actually not. Not yet, at least - which adds to the thrill of it. It's fascinating and heart-warming and enchanting. I think, Hunterhunting has accomplished an amazing authorial feat here.

Fanny: Oh yes, the lemons gave me both wet panties AND butterflies in the stomach!

Artsie: Agreed!

FannySo then why don't you just say that? (shakes head)

ArtsieBecause I... och... Jeesus! Fanny?

Fanny: Yeah?

Artsie: Forget it!!

TWI-LECHERY SCORING 

5 out of 5 Wet Panties


Ooh - seems we do have a winner here, don't we?

And I totally agree with Fanny on the panties-and-

butterflies part. Which brings us straight to this:

TWI-LOVELINESS 

How about romance?

FannyOh...! (puts both hands on her heart) It brought me to tears, honestly.

ArtsieYou won't miss a thing: love, friendship, mystery, drama. It's all there, and nothing of it sounds put on. And the constant contradictions - like gutter-language vs. loving thoughtfulness, badboy-apperance vs. wounded soul, pure lust vs. deep devotion - only adds to the impact of emotion.

FannyI swear I wanted to hug Edward and Bella all time and tell them they'll be fine. Sometimes I wanted to yell at them or even hit them, telling them to not fuck it up because they are just ment for each other, and...


Spoiler-alarm! Please get a hold of yourself, Fanny,

before you give away to much! 

Fanny...I wanted them so badly to be healed and... oh, spoiler. Yes. Sorry, Betti. (pretends to lock mouth and throw away imaginary key)


No prob! Anything else? Artsie?

Artsie: Since this is about the heart and I'm your analytical mind, it's not really my field, I'm afraid, so... no, nothing to add on my behalf. (shrugs)

Fanny: Wow - Artsie's got nothing to add? Rare thing! I'm impressed...

TWI-LOVELINESS SCORING 

4 out of 5 Wet Paper Tissues


So - we're almost done. What's not accounted for yet?

Oh yes, your fave quotes and the three-word-thing.

Remember, I told both of you to pick three words from

Clipped Wings & Inked Armor - a sad one, a happy one 

and a romantical one?

FannyOh yes... that was fun to do.

Artsie: I've done my homework...

FAVOURITE QUOTES 

Something to remember...

Artsie

(Edward's POV:) I was used to being stared at. You didn’t cover your body in ink and invest in facial piercings if you wanted to blend in, besides I have a nice face, even with all the tats and steel I know I’m easy to look at.But this was different. It wasn’t the usual bad-boy eye-fuck. It was something else entirely. She was looking at my ink as if she were studying a map and trying to pinpoint a specific destination, or trying to work out a complicated math equation. She was trying to read me though my art. 

Fanny

(Edward to Bella:) "Well aren’t I your fucking boyfriend? I’m supposed to take you out and shit."

THREE SINGLE WORDS 

One sad, one happy, one romantic

FannyBleeding Heart. Anaconda. Mine. (giggles)

ArtsieEleven. Cupcake. Hoodie.


Thank you, girls. And now shoo, shoo...

back into the opposite corners of my weird 

brain where you belong. Both of you.


FannyBut I...


No, Fanny, we're done - shut up!


Artsie: It's been my pleasure, Betti.

FannyByebye! (waves)

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