Monday, October 05, 2009

Epic Calamities Foreshadowing

So.... odd things are happening lately!
I'm talking about those (meanwhile somewhat infamous) 
split parts of my weird mind, Artsie & Fanny - aka
my Analytical Inner Artist and my Average Inner Fangirl... 
(Newbies please check: Who the f*ck are Artsie and Fanny?)

Is it really just six weeks ago that I unleashed them for the first time? 
It feels like forever already, and they seem to develope their own wills 
and become more and more independ... is it just me or is there 
something strange going on with the font...  hu? FANNY !?!

Uh-ohh... here comes Epic Calamity No1
Fanny: Hi, Betti! (waves) Hi, all!!
How... what... I didn't...
why am I using the magic red type font???
Fanny: That's me! I was, um... willing you!
You were what??!?
And what are you up to with - oh god, is that a pencil?
I'm feeling a little queasy... oh...
Fanny: Never mind the pencil. I just wanted to come 
and personally invite everybody over to my 
BFF's blog Let's Ride The Vanquish, where I 
- yes: I !!! - 
will be guestblogging (!) for a while. Yes, yes! 
Right, Betti?
Don't know why I ever agreed to this, but yes... 
it's the awful truth.

...inevitably followed by Epic Calamity No2
Artsie: Awful... indeed. I couldn't put it better.
Oh. Artsie. Hi.
Artsie: Exactly... hi! (frowns)
I'm sorry - I should have told you earlier...
Artsie: Forget it! We have a deal, right?
Right. (shudders)
Artsie: And would you care to tell our readers
about the nature of said deal?
Actually... I would.
Artsie: God, you're so pathetic! Ok - that's the deal:
Since Betti gave Fanny - instead of me - permission
to go out and even spill herself on another blog, 
she felt obliged to make up for that misdetermination
by granting me FULL ACCESS to her own blog during 
Fanny's outward... uhm... mission! 
Actually I felt more obliged to keep you away from 
certain parts of my brain while I'm alone with you here, but... yes.
There are terms and conditions though...
Artsie: Uhm... yes. I still think Mrs. Vanquish should have picked me
instead of Fanny, even though it is a discussion about (coughs) Twilight.
But she obviously wants me to prove first that I am able to deal with
that sorry piece of literature/cinematics without being nasty, or so it seems.
Is that so?
U-hu. She sent me a list of certain tasks to put me to the test.
Artsie: I am a pro. Of course, I took her challenge!
Which means exactly...?
Artsie: Everytime Mrs. Vanquish and Fanny will do their... thing over at
to work out one task of the list below, given to me by Mrs. Vanquish herself.
I'm quite determined to impress her, but I can also promise here and now:
And that's all I say...

Mrs.V's Epic Calamity Challenge for Artsie:

So, let me sum up...
While I - deprived of both my inner artist and my inner fangirl, 
and thus merely reduced to a drooling being in a vegetative state - 
will most likely spend the next... 
um, how long?
Fanny: Five weeks.
Artsie: Four. Maximum!
...the next four or five weeks glaze-eyed, watching talk-shows on tv, 
- something I won't need neither one nor the other of you buggers for - 
blogworld will have the dubious pleasure of simultaneous performances 
by Doom (Artsie) and Disaster (Fanny):

Disaster will realize her full potential as special guest in:
"The Twilight Book vs. Movie Discussion"
hosted by Mrs. Vanquish at
Fanny: Yes, yes!! (claps hands enthusiastically)
And she will not take that fucking pencil anywhere!
Fanny: What? Why... 
No pencil!
Fanny(pouts) Ok...

Doom will do her best to stand Mrs.V's challenge in: 
"How to become DaVinci, Beethoven, Goethe 
and Ed Hardy in personal union / Pt. 1-4"
hosted by herself at
Artsie: Very nicely put, Betti. (shakes head)
I know. Anything else?
Fanny: Yes, yes! Hey everybody, come and join Mrs. Vanquish and me 
at the book vs movie discussion. We're going to have tons of fun,
I even prepared... um, I mean: (glances at Betti) I am prepared... yes!
Artsie: I will just... I will be here, ok? 
Uhm, girls?
Can I have my normal font back now? 
That would... oh... thanks. Ok.
May the blog gods have mercy with all of us then. I'm out!


Mrs. Vanquish said...

godohgod, I'm so excited. Is Fanny already on the road? We have tons of work to do until Wednesday!!!

Fanny said...

...on my way.... on my waaaaayyyy....

Smuttier Than You said...

This is gonna be great!!! I'm feeling the need to watch Twilight (again) to brush up on the subject matter (nevermind the fact I watched it Saturday morning).

Mrs. Robward said...

Oh my,

I am so proud of you 2, it just seems like the other day that Betti intro'd u 2 to the interworld & we were coming up w/ a name for you babies.


And then you arrived to me via an email breaking down a chapter in my fic ::sobs::

Now you have ur own sidebar on Betti's Blog :;blows nose:: and now you Fanny are guest posting on LRtV ::wahhhhhh:: and Artsie gets to what she loves ::boo whoo hoo:::



OMG my word verification is 'beyste' 0_o

Fanny said...

Don't cry!!! OMG....
I will always lover you because you helped find my name (well... Artsie's name too - but I forgive you)

OoooOOoooo... look: I have a profile pic now!

Mrs. Robward said...

My tears r tears of joy....... proud .....of you........ BOTH.. :sniff:

Mrs. R

(wv: attud - slang for attitide, eeyz haz it!)

marie said...

Teehee - This is brilliant.

*sad face* I won't be around for two weeks and will miss out on all the fun. I'll definitely have a lot of catching up to do when I return!

One Pushy Fox said...

I am thrilled, THRILLED, that Artsie and Fanny are out and about in the twi-blogisphere! Woot!!! I'm looking forward to seeing what Artsie comes up with. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh... exciting!!

itsjustme said...

Super excited!!

Fire Crotch said...

EPIC!!! I am very excited for everything!