Monday, October 05, 2009

Epic Calamity Challenge / Part 1

The game is on...
And here we are with part one of the challenging task list Mrs. Vanquish had sent to me.
This is Artsie speaking, and I'm all alone here... finally.
(If you are new to this blog and don't know what this is all about, please check the related links at the end of this posting for your enlightenment)

Challenge No1: MAKE A BANNER!
This is the task, in Mrs. Vanquish's very own words:

I will NOT show the pics Mrs.Vanquish sent to me here. They were the usual ridiculous classical Twilight movie stills: Edward and Bella kissing, Bella and Edward kissing and a kiss between Bella and Edward. Plus two or three Edward/no Bella/no Kiss pics.
Not much to work with, but I won't complain.
As soon as Fanny left (...though I still don't get it WHY she was allowed to leave in the first place - just saying...) to do her Giggle-Giggle-Girly-Goof over at Let's Ride The Vanquish, I went to work.

Learning the hard way...
I am the part of Betti's mind where all the artistical skills come from. So I was quite sure, making a bloody Twilight banner would be easy as pie. But pride goes before a fall, right? Unfortunately, I had to learn that I am NOT the part of Betti's mind where decisions are made.
And here my trouble began, because decisions and priorities are a crucial part of creating a piece of art... that's at least what Betti explained to me, just before she said: "No. I won't help you. You wanted it that way!" *gulp*
I had elaborate outlines for exactly 237 different banners in my head, but couldn't find it in me to decide which one to make. 

The solution...
So I set an alarm clock for Thursday, Oct 6th, 8:00 a.m. to note me when I had to stop painting, in order to have enough time left to do this posting, and then I just started. Wenn the bell rang, I had managed to finish three sophisticated banners of a high cultural level, which I am proud to present now.
They are reminiscences to famous European painters who had a strong influence on modern art.

Are you ready? Good. Here we go:

1. "Crepúsculo"
My epic Salvatore Dali Twilight-Banner

Salvatore Dali (1904-1989), Spanish Surrealist
This first work is a reminiscence to Dali's painting "The persistence of memory" of the year 1931.
The melting clocks are known worldwide as one of Dali's signature features, symbolizing the evanescence of all things as time goes by. The only persisting thing is memory...
This is why I put the images of Bella and Edward at the prom into the melting clockframes: because it is a moment that will never come back... as Bella said: "I'm dying already... with every second..." and so on.
Bella will pass away, and her own memories with her. Edward though will persist - he and his memories are immortal. So I didn't let him melt too - though I was very tempted. Very tempted...

Afterthought: I liked Mr. Pattinson's performance in "Little Ashes". 
He impersonated the young Dali very well. Good movie.
Left: Rob. Right: Salvatore

My fave Dali-quote:

2. "Crépuscule"
My epic Pierre-Auguste Renoir Twilight-Banner

Pierre-Auguste Renoir (1841-1919), French Impressionist
This banner pays tribute to Renoir's painting "The Yole".
A very important thing in impressionism is light. Renoir was famous for his outside scenes and landscapes where you almost can see the sunlight flicker through the leafs of a tree in motion. 
Well, the light on Bella's face is actually coming from a cheap alienated x-mas chain of lights, which isn't neither impressing nor impressionist. But I did my best to blend the overdone tender kissing scene in. As to the landscape behind... um... the water symbolizes the wettest place in France: "Le Forks". And the building is the beginning of the Quileute Reservation. Or so I think.
Whatever. Fuck - I can not actually think for you all the time, ok? You have to make your minds up and let the art work on you!
Should there ever be a Renoir biopic... 
here's evidence that Mr. Pattinson could do this as well. Another good choice could be Leo DiCaprio, maybe. But since Renoir (left / self-portrait) had a lot of naked interaction in his RL, I would vote for Rob (right / sex-portrait).

My fave Renoir-quote:

2. "Schemerlicht"
My epic Vincent van Gogh Twilight-Banner

Vincent Van Gogh (1853 -1890), Dutch Post-Impressionist
This masterpiece of a fucking Twilight banner is based on van Gogh's famous painting "Starry Night".
And I'm very happy I made it in time before the alarm clock rang.
As you probably know, poor Vincent was totally bananas! Obsessed with the love for a woman, he had no scooby anymore what was going on at all and he cut off his own ear and such - I mean, really...!!
So that fits: he was a lot like Edward. Ok - Edward kept his ears where they belong, but he wanted to commit suicide and was even too much a jerk to do it on his own. Well, you all know the story, right? Anyway: Van Gogh was successful and died of his own hands in 1890.
------Below is another evidence of this strong coincidence. 
------Left: Rob/sex-portrait, bearded Right: Vince/self-portrait, bearded
My fave van Gogh-quote:


So I hope you've all learned a few things about...

1... bringing your art to an audience. 
Decisions have to be made, and being forced to leave the remaining 234 banners undone hurts me deep inside.

2... European history of art. 
I would have loved to bring to you Twilight banners inspired by Munch, Picasso, Modigliani and Dix. But I was forced to keep the schedule set by those rambling fangirls over at Mrs. V's blog.
If you happen to go there and your eyes start to bleed - just come back and let the fine arts comfort you.

3... the under-estimated acting skillz of young Robert Pattinson.
There's a movie-world besides Twilight, actually. And same applies to literature. Which we'll be hopefully exploring in "Epic Calamity Challenge / Part 2".

Thanks for your polite attention,

Related links:

How did this all start? Announcement


Mrs. Vanquish said...

Ok, I can´t hold my laugh.!!
Really, this was far from what I expected!!
Artsie you are truly an artist, your Twilight interpretation of those famous paintings are... *giggles* wonderful! I mean, really I underestimated your creativity!

I bow my head, you have blown me away!

I didn't expect THIS, never!!

Although, we should wait what the other girls say, right??

MrsV vs Artsie .. ? : ?

Honolulu Girl said...

I love these banners and I love art. I think you did a fabulous job!!!

Fire Crotch said... socks are totally knocked off! Excellent job on the banners! Totally not what I was expecting...but who would expect such art? And the Rob look-alikes are hilarious!

Artsie said...

@ Mrs.V
It's not over 'til it's over...

Thank you so much.

Artsie said...

I wanted to put some counterweight to Fanny's *cough* "drawings... you know.
I'm glad you liked my work.

Susie From ApplesnFeathers said...

Standing Ovation Artsie! These are absolutely gorgeous. I can't decide which one I like better and your educational and artistic explanations are are epic in a way only you can pull off! Bravo!

Call of Duty Widow said...

Those banners are awesome. Reinstates my need for an awesome banner for my site. Maybe someday if I ever get the time.

Fanny should not be allowed to draw close ups of body parts. At first glance I thought the nose was a pair of hairy tits. I guess that shows I need to pay closer attention. LOL.

Anonymous said...

These banners are EPIC!! I'm a huge Renoir and Van Gogh fan, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE those banners. Now if KStew weren't in them, they'd be perfect.

Mrs. Vanquish said...

Ok as I now stopped giggling about the surprise and the epic Twilight-Art - and slept some hours, I come back to give you are more detailed comment.

First: You impressed me by your deep inside into the Twilight universe. After all it looks like you know quite a bit about Twilight? ;)

Second: I never thought RobPatzz could look like those great artists, but the pictures you choose are awesome!

Third: I love how you pointed out the similarities between Edward and van Gogh!

Fourth: From all the quotes, the renoir quote is my favorite.

Although I know how you probably hated to do all this, it turned out awesome!
And now I go back to Fanny for some Giggle-Giggle-Girly-Goof :-)

cutie said...

My dear Artsie,

It is a damn shame Fanny and Mrs V have "banned" you from the discussion. =( This is a sadness for sure. I always enjoy your depth and no holds bar look at all things Twilight. And I must admit, I often agree wholeheartedly with you.

Now onto the amazing work you have done. *pats Artsie on the back*

1. Dali - LONG before Twilight and Mr. P Dali has been a favorite in the Cutie house. *looks over at four books about Dali* Mr. Cutie especially loves him. Excellent pick!

2. I had the absolute pleasure of seeing some of Renoir's work at a museum in Washington DC. Truly an amazing man and his paintings are beyond words.

3. Oh van Gogh... I have a bag with Starry Night on it. True story. Absolutely wonderful. And I LOVE the picture comparison of Mr. P and Mr. G. Wowzers!

How I wish I could paint... truly. *sigh* I shall simply have to forever be an admirer...

Great post, Artsie. Truly brilliant! You matched the pictures perfectly with the paintings. I am extremely impressed.


rpfangirldc said...

Okay... This was funny. All three banners were fantastic!

I will say that my favorite banner is the van Gogh, but it's more becuase I really like that painting of van Gogh's. (Ask my Starbucks coffee press and shot glass with the ame art.)

But something creeps me out about the whole thing... Robeard looks a lot like van Gogh. I never realised that until you posted the two pics together.

Smuttier Than You said...

Aww Artsie! I love love LOVE the banners! Skill such as yours is one of a kind! XOXO

uhyesplease said...

Artsie! Lovely job! Not that I didn't except some serious great work - but still - it's fantastic!

I'm such an Impressionist lover...Def my favs..and there is a lot of Dali in my house too... The Van Gogh museum in Amsterdamn is da bomb diggity.

Anonymous said...

WoW!!!! These were AMAZING! Loved them....absolutely AWESOME!!!

Genius job Artsie!

Mrs. Robward said...

Good job Bettie --I mean Artsie! I am so proud of you. You really are an artist! Your thoughts were so, so.....DEEP.

(evil grin)

Hope ur not missin Fanny too much!

Auntie Stacy

Betti Gefecht, the addicted said...

Hey all you lovelies...

Artsie wants you all to know that she is very grateful. Therefor - and because she's not willing to take second place to Fanny and Mrs.V - she will answer each and everyone of you in a recap on Sunday.

I made a promise to her - so I can't keep her from doing so.

itsjustme said...

Wow!! Awesome banners. Your skills are quite amazing. Is it ok if I'm jealous?

SBGDGT said...

While I am dumb as to most all the facts and history behind anything that resembles art, I do appreciate beauty! And those are beautimus! :) And I enjoyed the facts too!

Amy said...

Lovely! I happened upon this site and it's one of the most original blogs I've come across! What a great aesthetic! I look forward to future posts.