Friday, August 14, 2009

Twi-Fic I love: Clipped Wings & Inked Armor by Hunterhunting

Before I give you my first twific recommendation, I have to explain something.
I am a split personality, sort of. Whenever I listen to music, read a novel, watch a movie there are the two halfs of my mind struggling against each other: my analytical Inner Artist, and my average Inner Fangirl - namely: Artsie and Fanny. (learn more about them here)
While my Inner Artist is always busy, which is irritating sometimes, my Inner Fangirl had a rough ride most of my life, because Artsie has always been pretty dominant. Just lately, Fanny made up some ground on her. I decided to unleash them on the twific and leave the "reviews" up to them. So go ahead reading at your own risk.
In order to call them out, I have to use the red type font... wait a sec.

So there. Artsie? Fanny? 
Please say hi to our readers and introduce yourselves.


Artsie: Hello. Glad to meet you. And nice to see you too, Betti.

Fanny: Hi everybody!! (waves with both hands)

Artsie: Well, yes, I'm very much into the arts and culture. I'm helping Betti with her music and such. And I didn't like Twilight, just saying.

Fanny: Well, I LOVE Twilight and I'm helpful too... I think. Artsie just can't get over the fact that I totally overruled her, when Betti read Twilight. That's what she didn't like. Ha!

Artsie: It is just Not. A. Good. Book.


You both promised to behave, remember?


Artsie: I'm a pro. I can do that.

FannyNo problem. If Artsie stops bitching at Twilight.

Ok. Can you just hold on to yourselves a few moments longer? Thanks.


Don't worry, folks, I picked a twific that both Artsie and Fanny liked for a start. Here is the basic information:

  • Title: Clipped Wings and Inked Armor
  • Author: HunterHunting
  • Genre: angst/romance
  • Centered around: Edward & Bella (no surprise, huh?)
  • Rated M: content suitable for adults and mature teens age 16+
  • Status: not finished yet, but updated in short intervals. 17 chapters written

Artsy? Fanny? Your turn...



FannyCan I start, please? Or would you...? I want to start!

Artsie: (mutters under her breath) Surprise, surprise...

Fanny: Yeah, ok!  So...  mpf.

Artsie: What's the problem?

Fanny: The story is so awesome - I don't know where to begin!

Why don't you just tell us the first thing that comes to your mind?


FannyOk - I want to sleep with Tattward!!!

Artsie: (rolls eyes) That was, uhm... brilliant, Fanny. Really...

FannyBut it's true, ok? Tattward is hot!


Maybe we should enlighten our readers... 

Tattward = Edward in this story, right?


FannyYes, Edward. And he really kicks ass here, because he has all these piercings and tattoos, and every tattoo has a certain meaning - about his past and shit, you know - and not to forget his real huge...

ArtsieUh-oh!

Fanny...anaco... What, Artsie? It isn't a spoiler  if I say that, is it. Betti?


I'm not sure, Fanny. Let's just better be safe than sorry. 

So... you like tattoos, hu?


FannyNo, actually I didn't - before I read Clipped Wings & Inked Armor, that is.

ArtsieBetti has a tattoo too. Do you like hers?

FannyWell, I don't mean to be rude, but... (shrugs)


Ok girls, focus! Hot Tattward aside - both of you wanted me 

to recommend this twific on my blog, so: Why is it good? Artsie?


ArtsieFirst of...

FannyWhy is it good? WHY IS IT GOOD? Are you kidding me?! (snorts)

Artsie...all, there is a extremely good rhythm and tempo in the writing, a natural flow as if written without any effort at all. Every chapter has a satisfying dramatic composition in itself which draws you in and carries you along, feeling to witness it all like in realtime.

Fanny (fake-yawns)Bla bla bla... are you through now? Rhythm and tempo - fuck, who cares? You had better mention all the Cullens are in it, the Cullens! All of them! Well, sort of.

So, are we already at the point of judging the 

Twi-Fidelity of Clipped Wings & Inked Armor?

TWI-FIDELITY 

How much Twilight is left?

ArtsieRight. That's another thing about Clipped Wings & Inked Armor that has turned out very well. It's an all-human story. But HunterHunting nonetheless created an original plot which actually mirrors the vampires-among-us universe of the Twilight Saga in a clever way. The Cullen characters are all there, their personalities perfectly translated, though relationships were shifted - often quite surprisingly.  The "youngsters" are running their own... oh, Betti - can I say that?


I think it's no spoiler. More a teaser. Just go ahead.


ArtsieOk. So they are running a tattoo and piercing studio together, which is a world of its own. They're are all kind of outsiders, due to their looks alone. 

FannyYeah, kick ass looks! Yummy...

ArtsieAnd they have things to deal with from their past, dark secrets too. They kinda keep to themselves. They might look dangerous and  a little scary in the eyes of "normal" people, but at the same time they are beautiful and alluring and kindhearted all together. This is ought to sound quite familiar to the average Twilight fan. (smirks) And there is Bella of course - pretty, shy, vulnerable, wounded Bella...

FannyThat is sooo awesome. When you read it, it's like meeting old friends. I love it!

ArtsieBut that's pretty much it. Generously, I'd say. I think, it's a big win to be introduced into this new convincing universe invented by HunterHunting. Still, the characters are all there, if not actually appearing, at least mentioned as conclusive part of the story.

Fanny: Yeah. No big celebration for Team Jacob here, though. Sorry, puppies... (giggles)

ArtsieI loved the way how some Twilight keywords were integrated. With a wink, so to say.

FannyActually THE Twilight keywords. But we won't give it away, right Artsie? It is too much fun to find that out by yourself.


TWI-FIDELITY SCORING 

2 out of 5 Wettest Places in the Continental US



Fanny: So can we come to the anaconda-part now?

ArtsieOh gawd... Fanny! (rolls eyes)

I think, Fanny wants to talk about the lemon qualities

of the story now. So let's go: 

TWI-LECHERY 

How hot is the plot?

As I said before, I missed some good sex in Twilight. Badly.

Fanny: (snorts) Tell me about it!

ArtsieI assume you didn't miss anything in Clipped Wings & Inked Armor*raises brows*

FannyOMG... you have NO idea! It's just... ROAR! I-love-it-because-itleavesnothingtobesiredand...

ArtsieBreathe, Fanny!

Fanny...there are all kinds of loverliest porn...

ArtsieI wouldn't call it porn, really. The sex scenes are just, uhm... (clears throat)  descriptive.

Fanny: Oh yeah? C'mon, Mrs. Cool-and-Cultural, I can't wait to hear you review THAT. I bet you were all wet in your cultural centre, hu? (laughs)

Artsie: I'm not going to vouchsafe a reply to this. But I admit, the erotic passages did affect me in the way they're supposed to. There's no narrator in this story, so you experience everything from either Bella's or Edward's point of view. And additionally to the strong lustfulness, there is...

Fanny: Fess up, Baby! You were drooling like a dog in heat, I know it!

Artsie: ...all warmth and wonder, along with fragility and confusion in their minds and hearts. And this is why it is no porn. It is all about love in the first place, and despite of explicite language and unbridled lust, the reader is aware of this every second - even though the couple in question is actually not. Not yet, at least - which adds to the thrill of it. It's fascinating and heart-warming and enchanting. I think, Hunterhunting has accomplished an amazing authorial feat here.

Fanny: Oh yes, the lemons gave me both wet panties AND butterflies in the stomach!

Artsie: Agreed!

FannySo then why don't you just say that? (shakes head)

ArtsieBecause I... och... Jeesus! Fanny?

Fanny: Yeah?

Artsie: Forget it!!

TWI-LECHERY SCORING 

5 out of 5 Wet Panties


Ooh - seems we do have a winner here, don't we?

And I totally agree with Fanny on the panties-and-

butterflies part. Which brings us straight to this:

TWI-LOVELINESS 

How about romance?

FannyOh...! (puts both hands on her heart) It brought me to tears, honestly.

ArtsieYou won't miss a thing: love, friendship, mystery, drama. It's all there, and nothing of it sounds put on. And the constant contradictions - like gutter-language vs. loving thoughtfulness, badboy-apperance vs. wounded soul, pure lust vs. deep devotion - only adds to the impact of emotion.

FannyI swear I wanted to hug Edward and Bella all time and tell them they'll be fine. Sometimes I wanted to yell at them or even hit them, telling them to not fuck it up because they are just ment for each other, and...


Spoiler-alarm! Please get a hold of yourself, Fanny,

before you give away to much! 

Fanny...I wanted them so badly to be healed and... oh, spoiler. Yes. Sorry, Betti. (pretends to lock mouth and throw away imaginary key)


No prob! Anything else? Artsie?

Artsie: Since this is about the heart and I'm your analytical mind, it's not really my field, I'm afraid, so... no, nothing to add on my behalf. (shrugs)

Fanny: Wow - Artsie's got nothing to add? Rare thing! I'm impressed...

TWI-LOVELINESS SCORING 

4 out of 5 Wet Paper Tissues


So - we're almost done. What's not accounted for yet?

Oh yes, your fave quotes and the three-word-thing.

Remember, I told both of you to pick three words from

Clipped Wings & Inked Armor - a sad one, a happy one 

and a romantical one?

FannyOh yes... that was fun to do.

Artsie: I've done my homework...

FAVOURITE QUOTES 

Something to remember...

Artsie

(Edward's POV:) I was used to being stared at. You didn’t cover your body in ink and invest in facial piercings if you wanted to blend in, besides I have a nice face, even with all the tats and steel I know I’m easy to look at.But this was different. It wasn’t the usual bad-boy eye-fuck. It was something else entirely. She was looking at my ink as if she were studying a map and trying to pinpoint a specific destination, or trying to work out a complicated math equation. She was trying to read me though my art. 

Fanny

(Edward to Bella:) "Well aren’t I your fucking boyfriend? I’m supposed to take you out and shit."

THREE SINGLE WORDS 

One sad, one happy, one romantic

FannyBleeding Heart. Anaconda. Mine. (giggles)

ArtsieEleven. Cupcake. Hoodie.


Thank you, girls. And now shoo, shoo...

back into the opposite corners of my weird 

brain where you belong. Both of you.


FannyBut I...


No, Fanny, we're done - shut up!


Artsie: It's been my pleasure, Betti.

FannyByebye! (waves)

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LINKS:

15 comments:

Mrs. Vanquish said...

Betti, hands down the most genius post I´ve ever read ! You cracked me up and I love Fanny and Artsie! Although I feel more connected to Fanny atm. :-)
Should I say that the banner is awesome too?
Shit, I have no words for you anymore, just *bow*!!!
And welcome back to blogger business, I missed your posts.
Lovers you a lot and now I go and read Tattward.. !

Mrs. Robward said...

Oh Betti, I. Am. So. Proud. Of. you.

*hug*

I love it & tell Artsie & Fanny I said hi & be have! I am itching to get another chapter to them!

Lovers You.

Mrs. R

Betti Gefecht, the addicted said...

@ Mrs. Vanquish
...I am proud and a little embarrassed at the same time when you praise me like that. Thank you!
But it seems I acclompished my goal, hu? Yes, yes, go and read Tattward - it's amazing!

@ Mrs. Robward
Lover you too! And Artsie and Fanny say hi back atcha. They are looking forward to the next chp. - they've just warmed up now, you know...

marie said...

I agree with MrsV, that banner is wonderful. I stared at it for about 5 minutes before reading the post. I have yet to read this one, I do have it saved to my favs tho. I'll start on it once I've finished the one I'm reading now. You are a genius Betti!

half_my_self said...

Betti, in the words of Mrs V...it's genius! As I read it, I could imagine Artsie and Fanny, sitting in their chairs opposite each other, with you as the moderator. Of course, you know I relate more to Fanny!

Great post, Betti...great post! :)

*smooches*

Bereth said...

Hi Betti! Since I decided not to be a lurker anymore I'm here to say I loved this post. Artsy and Fanny are soooo funny. You have a great talent for such kind of humor. As for CW&IA, It's been on my list, but now thanx to your review it's moving up a notch, or 5. I have to say I also love your buttons, I'm sad the factory is closed now.
Pop_Khimaira

fragilelittlehuman said...

Oh, I love this review!! Very clever, and it makes me want to read CW&IA (so glad I know what the hell that stands for now) right away. The illustration is awesomeness, too!

And "I bet you were all wet in your cultural centre..." - bwaaahahaha!!

Eyes of Amber said...

This post was absolutely wonderfully written! Artsy and Fanny are great and I can totally relate to both of them. I think it's wonderful that they're both there in your brain...I tend to be that way too. (Of divided opinions...not in your head...you know what I meant)

I haven't read this one but it sounds very interesting!

Betti Gefecht, the addicted said...

@ marie
LOL I stared a TattRob for about 30 minutes when I finished the banner. You will LOVE that twific.
Will you come back and tell me what you think then?

@ half_my_self
Yes, Fanny is easy to connect to, she's way more fun than Artsie (believe me I know what I'm saying) LOL

@ Bereth
Hi - so sweet you "outed" yourself! So you have just started blogging as far as I can see? Check your comments! :)

@ fragilelittlehuman
So now you know what fate's got in store for you?
They'll come atcha - sonner or later!!

@ Eyes of Amber
Your comment makes me really happy! "Wonderfully written?" Makes me shiver with delight - I'm ALWAYS unsure about my English, you know...
Thanks! *hugs*

cutie said...

I love Artsie and Fanny. The End. :) I will for sure add the Tattward to my list. I am a sucker for the Tattward being that I am married to a tatted man. ;)

I make no promises however as to when I will read it as I am extremely behind in ALL things.

I LOVE your blog, Betti. And as much as I adore your buttons I love reading none button related posts. Just saying. *wink*

uhyesplease said...

FINALLY! It's quiet - I can comment and read AT THE SAME TIME!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this story. It literally haunts my dreams. An the amazing thing - it's one of those ff stories that could totally stand alone and be published. It's THAT good.

And well, the anaconda. Uh. Yep. I am so inlove with this Tattward and scared shitless of James. And Bella - her flirtiness is so cute. I love it!

I'm trying to drag it out and am finishing up the latest chapter today. booooooo.

hunterhunting said...

Thank Betti for the pimpage, and I adore your mind and the people living in it!

tasha... said...

Betti, that banner is perfection! :) There was lots I had to say, but the mere mention of Tattward and all coherent thoughts have left my brain.

Blair said...

Oh Betti. You are my new favorite person. Not only because of this fabulously written entry w/ Fanny & Artsie (who are my 2 new fave "others") but for the incredible photo you made of "Tattward"...it ripped my ruffle cupcake panties right off!! Thank you thank you thank you!!

SMOOCHIES!

Missie said...

Oh Wow! Woman! You are super talented! Unbelievable Work!

Do you have a post on banner making? Any tutorials? I need to get tips from YOU!

Thanks for entering my little contest!

*hugs*