Friday, October 09, 2009

Artsie practising social intercourse Pt.1



My dear commenters,

first of all I would like to thank you deep from my heart for taking the time to attend to my very first solo blogpost, and for sharing your thoughts. 
Yes, I got a little emotional indeed about the way you all appreciated my work, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. For once.
When I learned that Fanny and Mrs.V are going to post a recap of the first part of their blog collaboration, I said to myself: "Artsie" I said, "you too should honor your commenters with a proper response!" - And as usual, I couldn't help but agree with myself. I even made a little gift for you! But first things first...

...and first of all, of course, I shall reply to my very dear challenger!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mrs. Vanquish:
Really, this was far from what I expected!! 
I told you so, didn't I. 
You impressed me by your deep insight into the Twilight universe. After all it looks like you know quite a bit about Twilight? ;)
Of course I do, I read the books and saw the movie... repeatedly. 
I didn't really had any choice about it, because WHAT and HOW OFTEN I read or watch something, is totally under Betti's control. And it is my job to consider and judge everything she consumes, so... well.
I never thought RobPattz could look like those great artists, but the pictures you choose are awesome!
I love how you pointed out the similarities between Edward and van Gogh!
In fact, I'm holding Mr. Pattinson in high esteem. I think he is a very talented young man and it's a shame to reduce his multi-facetted personality to his impersonation of Edward. (There's more convincing material at the end of this post).

If you allow me one personal remark, I would like to say that you and Fanny did an awesome job over at letsridethevanquish. I even have to admit, Fanny seemed extraordinary coherent... by her standards.
She shouldn't have made these... scribblings, though. And I don't approve of all the encouragement she's getting.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
cutie:
My dear Artsie,
It is a damn shame Fanny and Mrs V have "banned" you from the discussion. =( This is a sadness for sure. I always enjoy your depth and no holds bar look at all things Twilight. And I must admit, I often agree wholeheartedly with you.
Dear Cutie,
your comment really touched me and made me feel like I've found some soulmate of sorts. I admit that it hurt me a little to be banned from the discussion, but honestly: I probably would just have been the party-pooper, don't you think? And though Fanny often is a real pain in the neck, I do not begrudge her the fun.
Now onto the amazing work you have done. *pats Artsie on the back*
Thank you, but please don't... touch me, ok? I'm a little... uhm.. just don't.
1. Dali - LONG before Twilight and Mr. P Dali has been a favorite in the Cutie house. *looks over at four books about Dali* Mr. Cutie especially loves him. Excellent pick!
I'd never thought it could be that way, but well... I've learned a lot during my short time solo blogging here. I think I must apologize to all the Twilight fans around here, because I used to underestimate them thoroughly. And I'm really sorry. I should have known, if only because of Betti. But I didn't really understand, how she... 
anyway - I see now, that you are smart and educated people, with a variety of interests. And this whole Twilight... thing is just all about fun and feelings and romantic and such, and I guess it is important. Or so I think.
Oh, and please... my compliments to Mr. Cutie.
2. I had the absolute pleasure of seeing some of Renoir's work at a museum in Washington DC. Truly an amazing man and his paintings are beyond words.
Oh you saw the originals... that must have been awesome. I wished Betti would take me there too some day.
3. Oh van Gogh... I have a bag with Starry Night on it. True story. Absolutely wonderful. And I LOVE the picture comparison of Mr. P and Mr. G. Wowzers!
Well, I'm not sure whether I like such a thing like a van Gogh bag, but I take it you love that item. And as I said... I recently learned a lot *smiles wryly*. So *clears throat* I'm sure it looks great on you. As for the pic comparison, like I said, there's a little thing I made at the end of this post.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Honolulu Girl:
I love these banners and I love art. I think you did a fabulous job!!!
Thank you very much. I took my task very serious and I'm glad you appreciate my work. I would also like to compliment you on your name, it is very... illustrious.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fire Crotch:
And the Rob look-alikes are hilarious!
I wouldn't use the term "hilarious" but - I understand you liked them? I'm still trying to get used to the jargon you people use.
Anyway, I think Mr. Pattinson is more than just a handsome young man, and I wanted to illustrate that. There's more "hilarity" if you scroll down. Hope you like it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Susie From ApplesnFeathers:
Your educational and artistic explanations are epic in a way only you can pull off! Bravo!
I bow down to your ability to see my genius, Susie. Thank you. 
I know you own some of Betti's CDs, and I want to use the opportunity to let you know that Betti didn't listen to me all the time when she recorded that music. There's also a lot of... uhm... Fanny in it. Ok?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Call of Duty Widow:
Fanny should not be allowed to draw close ups of body parts. At first glance I thought the nose was a pair of hairy tits.
Aha! Listen to this! In fact, Fanny wasn't allowed to draw anything, far less close ups of body parts! Betti even locked away any drawing materials, pens and paper. We have no idea how she managed to... I'm not the secondhand embarrassment kind of person, but the biology scene... really!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
fragilelittlehuman:
These banners are EPIC!! I'm a huge Renoir and Van Gogh fan, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE those banners. Now if KStew weren't in them, they'd be perfect.
I'm very honored you liked my art, because I do admire your writing. Although it's still Twilight fan fic. I think you should write something original, not twi-related stuff some day to let your talent shine outside these bounds. And about KStew - well, I was bound here, thanks to Mrs.V

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
rpfangirldc:
Okay... This was funny. All three banners were fantastic!
Funny? I don't know... but I'm pleased if you had "fun". So... thank you.
I will say that my favorite banner is the van Gogh, but it's more becuase I really like that painting of van Gogh's. (Ask my Starbucks coffee press and shot glass with the ame art.)
I like that painting too. Starbucks, hu? It's a strange world outside...
But something creeps me out about the whole thing... Robward looks a lot like van Gogh. I never realised that until you posted the two pics together.
He can look a lot like whoever he wants to. It's amazing. More creep-out-worthy pics below.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smuttier Than You:
Aww Artsie! I love love LOVE the banners! Skill such as yours is one of a kind!
I am truly glad you like the banners despite of the lack of any smut. I had some smutty things on my mind, but the alarm bell rang before I made it to my Gauguin or Egon Schiele banners. Maybe next time...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
uhyesplease:
Artsie! Lovely job! Not that I didn't except some serious great work - but still - it's fantastic!
Uhyesplease...! *sighs* What shall I do with you? *shakes head* I don't know what to say. I started reading "Destiny". Will you reveal your true identity one day? I know you are no writing greenhorn, yet still you think you can fool me. I'm not mad at you, it's just... well, we'll discuss that another time. Thanks for your kind words.
I'm such an Impressionist lover...Def my favs..and there is a lot of Dali in my house too... The Van Gogh museum in Amsterdamn is da bomb diggity
As I said in my reply to Cutie before, you Twilight lovers are some astounding people.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TwihardMama808:
WoW!!!! These were AMAZING! Loved them....absolutely AWESOME!!! 
Genius job Artsie!
I adore your enthusiasm, thanks very much. And Betti wants me to say "Welcome to this blog!". She said, if I'd do this on her behalf, it would be a good exercise for me in social intercourse. I'm practising.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mrs. Robward:
Good job Betti --
Hu?
I mean Artsie! I am so proud of you. You really are an artist! Your thoughts were so, so.....DEEP. (evil grin) Hope ur not missin Fanny too much! 
Auntie Stacy
Mrs.Robward
Thanks, auntie. And since I'm practising social intercourse... I never had a chance to thank you for helping to find my name. Fanny likes hers too. You know, it was because of you when Betti got us out for the first time, and we didn't have names before. So yes, thanks.  
I also want to say that you did improve a lot in your writing, you actually do with every new chapter. And even without Fanny (yes I miss her a little), Betti is enjoying your story very much.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
itsjustme:
Wow!! Awesome banners. Your skills are quite amazing. 
Is it ok if I'm jealous?
Yes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And now, like I promised, here's my gift to all you fabulous commenters. You Twilight fans are awesome people of heart and mind, and without Fanny's continuous and high-pitched giggling and chattering, I finally saw this for myself. 
So here's my little gift, since you all enjoyed the comparisons so much. 

Starting out with the three you already know, I give to you...

Robert Pattinson impersonating famous painters 
Don't miss Mrs.Vanquish's epic RECAP of Pt.1 of the "Book vs. Movie Discussion" on Sunday!

I hope I see you all next Wednesday, wenn I do the literature challenge?
Love, Artsie

- - - - -

Related links:


Simultan-Post: (up on sunday!)

How did this all start? Announcement

Monday, October 05, 2009

Epic Calamity Challenge / Part 1

 
The game is on...
And here we are with part one of the challenging task list Mrs. Vanquish had sent to me.
This is Artsie speaking, and I'm all alone here... finally.
(If you are new to this blog and don't know what this is all about, please check the related links at the end of this posting for your enlightenment)

Challenge No1: MAKE A BANNER!
This is the task, in Mrs. Vanquish's very own words:

I will NOT show the pics Mrs.Vanquish sent to me here. They were the usual ridiculous classical Twilight movie stills: Edward and Bella kissing, Bella and Edward kissing and a kiss between Bella and Edward. Plus two or three Edward/no Bella/no Kiss pics.
Not much to work with, but I won't complain.
As soon as Fanny left (...though I still don't get it WHY she was allowed to leave in the first place - just saying...) to do her Giggle-Giggle-Girly-Goof over at Let's Ride The Vanquish, I went to work.

Learning the hard way...
I am the part of Betti's mind where all the artistical skills come from. So I was quite sure, making a bloody Twilight banner would be easy as pie. But pride goes before a fall, right? Unfortunately, I had to learn that I am NOT the part of Betti's mind where decisions are made.
And here my trouble began, because decisions and priorities are a crucial part of creating a piece of art... that's at least what Betti explained to me, just before she said: "No. I won't help you. You wanted it that way!" *gulp*
I had elaborate outlines for exactly 237 different banners in my head, but couldn't find it in me to decide which one to make. 

The solution...
So I set an alarm clock for Thursday, Oct 6th, 8:00 a.m. to note me when I had to stop painting, in order to have enough time left to do this posting, and then I just started. Wenn the bell rang, I had managed to finish three sophisticated banners of a high cultural level, which I am proud to present now.
They are reminiscences to famous European painters who had a strong influence on modern art.

Are you ready? Good. Here we go:

1. "Crepúsculo"
My epic Salvatore Dali Twilight-Banner


Salvatore Dali (1904-1989), Spanish Surrealist
This first work is a reminiscence to Dali's painting "The persistence of memory" of the year 1931.
The melting clocks are known worldwide as one of Dali's signature features, symbolizing the evanescence of all things as time goes by. The only persisting thing is memory...
This is why I put the images of Bella and Edward at the prom into the melting clockframes: because it is a moment that will never come back... as Bella said: "I'm dying already... with every second..." and so on.
Bella will pass away, and her own memories with her. Edward though will persist - he and his memories are immortal. So I didn't let him melt too - though I was very tempted. Very tempted...









Afterthought: I liked Mr. Pattinson's performance in "Little Ashes". 
He impersonated the young Dali very well. Good movie.
Left: Rob. Right: Salvatore

My fave Dali-quote:




2. "Crépuscule"
My epic Pierre-Auguste Renoir Twilight-Banner

Pierre-Auguste Renoir (1841-1919), French Impressionist
This banner pays tribute to Renoir's painting "The Yole".
A very important thing in impressionism is light. Renoir was famous for his outside scenes and landscapes where you almost can see the sunlight flicker through the leafs of a tree in motion. 
Well, the light on Bella's face is actually coming from a cheap alienated x-mas chain of lights, which isn't neither impressing nor impressionist. But I did my best to blend the overdone tender kissing scene in. As to the landscape behind... um... the water symbolizes the wettest place in France: "Le Forks". And the building is the beginning of the Quileute Reservation. Or so I think.
Whatever. Fuck - I can not actually think for you all the time, ok? You have to make your minds up and let the art work on you!
Should there ever be a Renoir biopic... 
here's evidence that Mr. Pattinson could do this as well. Another good choice could be Leo DiCaprio, maybe. But since Renoir (left / self-portrait) had a lot of naked interaction in his RL, I would vote for Rob (right / sex-portrait).









My fave Renoir-quote:




2. "Schemerlicht"
My epic Vincent van Gogh Twilight-Banner


Vincent Van Gogh (1853 -1890), Dutch Post-Impressionist
This masterpiece of a fucking Twilight banner is based on van Gogh's famous painting "Starry Night".
And I'm very happy I made it in time before the alarm clock rang.
As you probably know, poor Vincent was totally bananas! Obsessed with the love for a woman, he had no scooby anymore what was going on at all and he cut off his own ear and such - I mean, really...!!
So that fits: he was a lot like Edward. Ok - Edward kept his ears where they belong, but he wanted to commit suicide and was even too much a jerk to do it on his own. Well, you all know the story, right? Anyway: Van Gogh was successful and died of his own hands in 1890.
---
------Below is another evidence of this strong coincidence. 
------Left: Rob/sex-portrait, bearded Right: Vince/self-portrait, bearded
-
------
-
My fave van Gogh-quote:

------
--


So I hope you've all learned a few things about...

1... bringing your art to an audience. 
Decisions have to be made, and being forced to leave the remaining 234 banners undone hurts me deep inside.

2... European history of art. 
I would have loved to bring to you Twilight banners inspired by Munch, Picasso, Modigliani and Dix. But I was forced to keep the schedule set by those rambling fangirls over at Mrs. V's blog.
If you happen to go there and your eyes start to bleed - just come back and let the fine arts comfort you.

3... the under-estimated acting skillz of young Robert Pattinson.
There's a movie-world besides Twilight, actually. And same applies to literature. Which we'll be hopefully exploring in "Epic Calamity Challenge / Part 2".

Thanks for your polite attention,
Artsie
---------

Related links:


How did this all start? Announcement

Epic Calamities Foreshadowing


So.... odd things are happening lately!
I'm talking about those (meanwhile somewhat infamous) 
split parts of my weird mind, Artsie & Fanny - aka
my Analytical Inner Artist and my Average Inner Fangirl... 
(Newbies please check: Who the f*ck are Artsie and Fanny?)

Is it really just six weeks ago that I unleashed them for the first time? 
It feels like forever already, and they seem to develope their own wills 
and become more and more independ... is it just me or is there 
something strange going on with the font...  hu? FANNY !?!

Uh-ohh... here comes Epic Calamity No1
Fanny: Hi, Betti! (waves) Hi, all!!
How... what... I didn't...
why am I using the magic red type font???
Fanny: That's me! I was, um... willing you!
You were what??!?
And what are you up to with - oh god, is that a pencil?
I'm feeling a little queasy... oh...
Fanny: Never mind the pencil. I just wanted to come 
and personally invite everybody over to my 
BFF's blog Let's Ride The Vanquish, where I 
- yes: I !!! - 
will be guestblogging (!) for a while. Yes, yes! 
Right, Betti?
Don't know why I ever agreed to this, but yes... 
it's the awful truth.

...inevitably followed by Epic Calamity No2
Artsie: Awful... indeed. I couldn't put it better.
Oh. Artsie. Hi.
Artsie: Exactly... hi! (frowns)
I'm sorry - I should have told you earlier...
Artsie: Forget it! We have a deal, right?
Right. (shudders)
Artsie: And would you care to tell our readers
about the nature of said deal?
Actually... I would.
Artsie: God, you're so pathetic! Ok - that's the deal:
Since Betti gave Fanny - instead of me - permission
to go out and even spill herself on another blog, 
she felt obliged to make up for that misdetermination
by granting me FULL ACCESS to her own blog during 
Fanny's outward... uhm... mission! 
Actually I felt more obliged to keep you away from 
certain parts of my brain while I'm alone with you here, but... yes.
There are terms and conditions though...
Artsie: Uhm... yes. I still think Mrs. Vanquish should have picked me
instead of Fanny, even though it is a discussion about (coughs) Twilight.
But she obviously wants me to prove first that I am able to deal with
that sorry piece of literature/cinematics without being nasty, or so it seems.
Is that so?
U-hu. She sent me a list of certain tasks to put me to the test.
And...?
Artsie: I am a pro. Of course, I took her challenge!
Which means exactly...?
Artsie: Everytime Mrs. Vanquish and Fanny will do their... thing over at
to work out one task of the list below, given to me by Mrs. Vanquish herself.
I'm quite determined to impress her, but I can also promise here and now:
YOU MIGHT NOT GET WHAT YOU EXPECT! 
And that's all I say...

Mrs.V's Epic Calamity Challenge for Artsie:


So, let me sum up...
While I - deprived of both my inner artist and my inner fangirl, 
and thus merely reduced to a drooling being in a vegetative state - 
will most likely spend the next... 
um, how long?
Fanny: Five weeks.
Artsie: Four. Maximum!
...the next four or five weeks glaze-eyed, watching talk-shows on tv, 
- something I won't need neither one nor the other of you buggers for - 
blogworld will have the dubious pleasure of simultaneous performances 
by Doom (Artsie) and Disaster (Fanny):

Disaster will realize her full potential as special guest in:
"The Twilight Book vs. Movie Discussion"
hosted by Mrs. Vanquish at letsridethevanquish.blogspot.com
Fanny: Yes, yes!! (claps hands enthusiastically)
And she will not take that fucking pencil anywhere!
Fanny: What? Why... 
No pencil!
Fanny(pouts) Ok...

Doom will do her best to stand Mrs.V's challenge in: 
"How to become DaVinci, Beethoven, Goethe 
and Ed Hardy in personal union / Pt. 1-4"
hosted by herself at bettimusictwilight.blogspot.com
Artsie: Very nicely put, Betti. (shakes head)
I know. Anything else?
Fanny: Yes, yes! Hey everybody, come and join Mrs. Vanquish and me 
at the book vs movie discussion. We're going to have tons of fun,
I even prepared... um, I mean: (glances at Betti) I am prepared... yes!
Artsie: I will just... I will be here, ok? 
 
Uhm, girls?
Can I have my normal font back now? 
That would... oh... thanks. Ok.
May the blog gods have mercy with all of us then. I'm out!